Expectations

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS MARIANA VILY

Let's take a trip down the memory lane. Rewind to four years ago, during my first semester at Stella Adler, when I was assigned my first scene. I remember feeling both that it was a brilliant casting choice for me, and that I was ill-equipped to take it on. (In hindsight, this is probably why I was in school in the first place.) I don't know what I expected from my first scene, but certainly not what I got. It was emotional, and it included a monologue that back then felt endless. At any rate, I had no idea how to approach it. Further, considering this was just one of many assignments I had at the time, and that I was also adjusting to New York, I was a little overwhelmed.

Maybe because I am an optimist at heart, as I tackled my monumental task, I had a moment of revelation: someone thought I could do it. I mean, they wouldn't have assigned me the scene in the first place if I couldn't do it to some extent, right? I was aware that what was being asked of me required a stretch, but I implicitly trusted that I wasn't being set up for failure.

I don't remember the outcome of this particular scene. My guess is that I achieved some things and failed at others. I was aware of my shortcomings, but fired up to bring my best game and keep on learning. And as I continued to juggle increasingly complex assignments, I also became more grateful for the faculty, because I knew the alternative: feeling that nothing was expected of me, or getting infinitesimal tasks that wouldn't allow me to grow.

There have been many times in my life when I felt the weight of the expectations of others. I haven't always gotten along well with that feeling. I now know that I owe many of my achievements to those who dared to imagine better things for me. Self-fulfilling prophecies can work for better, too.

We are all very good at self-preservation. We shy away from risks, lest we should disappoint others or, even worse, ourselves. Often we are encouraged to settle, and we do so because it is safe. So here is a challenge of sorts: what would happen if we chose to expect more instead? If we raised the bar for others and for ourselves? I am sure we would know how to deal with imperfect results. What we couldn't do anything about, though, are the risks we never took.

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The Elephant in Our Pockets

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER JULIA RAE MALDONADO Be it Puritans or the Plague, the theatre always seems to be under threat. I’ve been thinking a lot about one of Today’s dangers - a highly insidious foe which attacks the artist’s very ability to Dream.

(You may even have one in your hand right now.)

Certainly, it’s important to keep abreast of current events, sure. It’s probably important to answer that e-mail. Immediately. That cat is doing what? I better just click on that.

Whenever I have ten minutes, I start gobbling up little niblets of information. Stories reduced to bullet points, “25 Things That…”, 140 Characters! Don’t get me started on all that candy that needs crushing. I tell you, when I have time to kill, I kill it. I really kill it. My forty minute commute? Every minute of it is dead.

This little machine means not a second has to go by without my mind being occupied! This is great. I hardly know myself anymore. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just sit there and do nothing?

I remember about a year ago, I went through a horrible experience. It was this sort of artistic “cleanse” I read about in an actual book. It’s called “Reading Deprivation”. Pretty scary stuff. I hear Julia Cameron has now expanded the exercise and rechristened it Media Deprivation.

The idea is you don’t read anything, watch anything, or click anything. For an entire week!

Because apparently, to dip into the unconscious, that spring of unbridled creativity, an artist needs downtime. Like, real downtime.

And drama is a medium fueled by conflict and connection. Well! At least we’ve got plenty of conflict. As a society, we seem to feel isolated and crave attention. If you don’t believe me, glance at your Facebook feed.

But before you get too depressed, consider that this barren cultural landscape may be the perfect environment for the theatre to flourish. The success of immersive shows like Here Lies Love, Then She Fell, and Sleep No More prove that theatre-going audiences are starved for direct connection like never before.

As long as we can keep that device in our pockets, sit still, and Dream.

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Let’s Go With this “Season of Giving” Thing...

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST EVENT COORDINATOR RACHEL CAPLAN

Outside of acting, I've been bartending for about a year now. Sure, I've  learned to make a killer margarita, but I don’t think that’s why all of my regulars continue to visit during my shifts. I genuinely like hanging out with them, listening to their stories and dreams and concerns, and throwing in my two cents over a pint. Our goodbyes have grown from smiles and waves to high fives and hugs. It’s just like my own personal “Cheers.” I love it.

Connecting with people, especially during this time of year, is so important. New York City looks glamorous and so damn sparkly, but all of those Gap ads with warm families in giant houses, greeting one another in perfectly “normal” sweaters can make our lives seem a bit lonely. That’s why we need so strongly to find our own versions of extended family. More than any other city, I think that New York is a place where your friends quickly become your family, and this was so apparent at last week’s reading of A Christmas Carol at O’Lunney’s with Theatre East. I looked around the room and saw glowing faces, both new and familiar, young and young-at-heart, all dressed up and participating in telling a beautiful story together. Some lending their talents, others lending their ears. All giving.

A while back, a young man began coming to the bar during my shifts. I learned he is a director, a rather up-and-coming one at that, and we began talking shop every time he came to grab a beer. He has taught me so much over these lager-filled hours, lessons I couldn't learn in acting school, and I’m not sure he knows what an impact he’s had on me, but his simple gifts of time and attention have benefited me so tremendously, I feel I should leave him a tip instead of the other way around. One issue we've discussed ad nauseum is our fear that theatre is becoming a “rich kid’s sport,” something that is so expensive, many young artists cannot afford theatre tickets, not to mention sustain a career in which it is tough to keep one’s head above water. This is why giving is so essential, and so very doable.

I don’t have much money to give, but I do have TIME. All of my mentors, those whom I respect and turn to for advice, have given me only their time, which is a most precious gift. I recently produced a play (None of the Above with Pegasus 51) for the first time, an experience which was incredible and overwhelming, and was made far more rewarding by the generosity of the playwright, Jenny Lyn Bader. She found me on Twitter and invited me to ask any questions I had about the play. On top of that, she came to see the show not once, but three times, bringing different guests all along. Because of her openness, we began a dialogue that fostered a lovely new relationship. I have so much respect for people like Jenny Lyn and my director friend, established artists who reach down to the next generation and offer their resources.

This, I believe, is the spirit of the holiday season, and of Theatre East. We are a company of artists at different points in our careers, and I’m proud to be part of a group so willing to give of their wellsprings of knowledge and experience. 

I suppose this is something we can all learn and apply in our respective communities. I dare you (and myself) to take a look at your position in your community and find someone seeking advice or a bit of inspiration or even just a high five. Be generous however you are able, whether that means sponsoring someone so that they may see a piece of theatre they wouldn't have been able to afford or simply sitting across a table from them and and listening. I can tell you as someone who is young and hopeful and unsure, a pair of ears is the greatest gift in the world.

I will dip into heavier business for just a moment and say that now is an essential point in history to give of your time, not only to individuals, but to greater causes. Be brave, be bold, gather your friends and march for justice. Let your voice be heard and support those whose voices have been silenced.

And perhaps it is my youth and hopeful outlook that make me believe this, but I think that if we step up, we can create a remarkable chain of giving and a glorious future for every beautiful, valuable person in this world.

Happy Holidays!
Channukah Sameach
Merry Christmas
Kwanzaa yenu iwe na heri!
One love.

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The Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Been Given

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST ROUNDTABLE CO-CHAIR EMILY VERLA

I want to be clear from the beginning that I did not take the majority of these pearls to heart the first time they were uttered to me. Usually I had to bash into them (to an almost concussive level) before admitting that these wise words were the best course of action.

Starting with something my Dad began saying to me in the 6th grade: “Lean into what you’re good at, and find someone else to deal with the rest.” This felt idiotic in primary school; no one else could answer questions I didn’t know on tests. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve accepted that if it takes me 4 hours to edit a piece of writing and 15 minutes for my friend to do it I should ask them, and spend 15 minutes taking over one of their 4 hour headaches.

From Alithea Philips, who oozes kindness : “Respect your fellow artist’s process (they may be a genius).” Not everyone works in the same order. Nothing good comes from judging the people you’re working with, whereas fully committing to whatever choices my comrades make has led me in directions I had never thought of. Often that direction may not stick, but going there as a team helps everyone figure out more quickly that something else should be done, without shutting anyone down in the process.

“Other people’s success is not your failure.” Full disclosure, this one was not directly delivered to me; it was an answer of Christian Borle’s in a Tony interview. Though this seems like the easiest piece of advice to follow, I have found it to be illogically difficult in practice. I know a lot of people who are more competitive than I am, and seeing others succeed stokes their fire, but I tend to shut down. Developing the habit of being happy for your friends feels so much better.

This one is the newest addition to my arsenal: “Fuck It, someone’s ‘gonna want this!”, from casting director Kimberly Graham, a much more active way of doing that “letting go” thing everyone’s always telling you to do. Accepting you can only do the best you can do. The war cry version of “you are enough”.

“Find your people.”, from my mom. Once you find your people all the other stuff gets easier.

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Your Flickering Flame

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER BEN DAWSON

Let’s discuss fire, shall we? A furious blaze begins with a simple spark. The spark ignites the fuel, and a small flame bursts into life. As the fledgling flame consumes more fuel, the fire grows, and the heat intensifies to an endless limit. Your passion parallels this dimly lit notion. At one point in your experiential existence, a spark clicked awake in your heart. With more desire, more experience, and more understanding; you fueled that spark and fostered it, allowing it to consume and flourish until it reached its bonfire-worthy beauty. Your flame of passion grew until one day, someone doubted your talent and subdued your fire a bit. You fought back, though, and vehemently pursued your purpose by playing that challenging role, creating that work of art, or speaking those indelible words before a crowd of breathless faces.  You recovered. You regained what you once had. The inferno was full ablaze now, but others came with reservations and icy cold breath. The cool air stung as your fire slowly crackled asunder and whittled away to an ember. It hurt. What you sought now was a match—something that could revitalize that flame and bring it back to its greatest grandeur. You were looking for something that made you feel inspired and alive. You were looking for something that could refresh and renew. You were looking, and you found it.

There will be many people, situations, and unexpected circumstances that will try to extinguish your flame of passion. Remember or, if you have none, find the matches in life that fuel your flame. Keep them always close to you and never let them stray too far away. They will become your protective cage that fits perfectly around your heart. Protect your heart from naysayers, and you will, in turn, protect your passion. See a show. Have a drink. Have two. Watch a child play. Take a new street home. Pick a flower. Smell that flower. Try a new recipe. Look up. Breathe. Smile. Take a walk. Look down. Get that kiss. Believe. Write a poem. Draw a picture. Call a friend. Call an enemy. Forgive. Forget. Remember. Become. Be.

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How I Learned to Deal with Worrying and Avoid the Bomb

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST DIRECTOR OF SOCIAL MEDIA ALICE QIN

I heard something fantastic the other day - “Treat worry like a heckler, not a mugger.” It’s an interesting distinction that frames all the things that stop us in our tracks, into a trajectory that allows us to move forward. It being the end of summer, and the spirit of Back-To-School is all around us (in forms of office supply sales), and being based in a city like New York; this mindset feels particularly pertinent.

It’s absolutely useless to pretend that your worries don’t exist. Ignoring your problems usually create far worse ones down the line, we know this, but it’s worth reminding ourselves every once in a while. Making ourselves the victims of our own brain and allowing fear to rob us of everything is obviously not very useful either. Better to acknowledge it, assess it for any merit, own up to what is true which allows room for dismissing whatever it is that we made up ourselves. No point worrying about a mere remote possibility if it stops you from doing something that is important.

Dealing with personal failure is a basic job requirement of, well, people in general, but people in the creative arts, especially. We can try to draw inspiration from famous stories of how failures made incredible things possible, from Edison to Steve Jobs and everyone in between. However it’s one thing to know, intellectually, that failing is a process and not an ending, it’s a hard to accept platitudes when we’re in the middle of it. Stopping to evaluate the voices in my head has always been the best I’ve come up with to coax myself out of the fetal position and get on with it. When that doesn’t work, there’s always ice cream, and Netflix, and another morning to try again.

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Stage Combat Enhances Your Acting

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER ALEXANDER REED

I’ve spent the last five years learning and teaching Stage Combat alongside one of the top combat instructors in the country. I was very fortunate to get involved straight out of acting school and although I have never been crazy about teaching, only recently I realized how much this experience has enhanced my acting as well as my whole creative being. Where some people would take this skill for granted I have grown to believe that it is an essential part of the training for every actor especially for the one who intends to have a career on the stage.

One of the things that really stood out for me as I was observing actors during combat class was how much this skill informs one’s acting. Although some people took it more seriously than others, there was a clear point being made over and over again that the actor who was able to do the combat at ease was also a good actor overall. In general the attributes that gave people advantage were previous movement skills such as dance or martial arts but that was not always the case since I saw students with no such training do just as well as those who had if not better. Therefore the main factors which I think connect the combat with one’s acting are listening skills, being grounded in your character and self control over every action you play.

The reason I point those factors out is because I found that teaching actors, who knew how to listen, were also grounded and had full control over their physical actions made it very easy to create an effective dramatic or comical scene. This is also why I believe that combat and acting are very connected and one informs the other. When actors are really listening, their fight choreography looks flawless and effortless and so does their acting and there is no fear of safety because they are living the scene moment by moment while being in full control of their bodies as they remain grounded in the characters that they are playing.

So I really hope that this gives a better idea of what stage combat is about and how it relates to acting in more ways than one. What a great way to keep the actor’s instrument in shape and at the same time have so much fun while being creative and inspired by every new move you perform. It keeps me curious, on my toes and asking for more. It is the reason why I believe that acting at its best should be described as Fearless!!!

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An Artist On Hold

WRITTEN BY COMPANY MEMBER KELSEY SHEPPARD

I spent the past week fully immersed in the world of tap dance. I was offered a job as an assistant registrar for the New York City Tap Festival several months ago and agreed to take the position out of a unique combination of love and financial necessity. I entered the week expecting to enjoy myself. I also expected not to have time to go through my usual actor motions: submitting for auditions, waiting on line for open calls, etc. This would be a week where I would work in the presence of art to finance my life, but I would place myself as an artist on hold—or so I thought.

The week itself was a roller coaster ride. Some days I found myself buried in administrative problems; on others, I was without much work at all, albeit responsible for making sure things were running smoothly. While I am an avid tap dancer myself, my duties as assistant registrar left me unable to take any classes, leaving most of my days at the dance festival devoid of any dancing! I was, however, able to see each evening’s show, and I was especially struck by one performance.

As a part of Thursday’s show, Tap & Song, tapper Kazu Kumagai offered a piece to Bob Dylan’s The Times They Are a-Changin’. I was floored. I had anticipated to be wowed by his technical precision, but I found his piece amazing and inspiring for a totally unexpected reason. Armed with little more than his feet, two musicians and Dylan’s powerful lyrics, Kumagai told a story. He walked onstage and began to speak with his feet, and He seemed to have an incredibly clear idea of what he was saying and I, from the back of the balcony, was able to hear him.

I was reminded how very simple storytelling can be. In an age where there is so much pressure to provide spectacle (and production costs seem to be forever on the rise), it is refreshing to see art that strives just to communicate an idea. It seemed as though Kumagai knew the truth of what he was saying and then said it, and with only that, it reached out and touched me as a member of the audience.

In the middle of a work-week where I expected to find little that would inspire me as an actor, I saw an element of storytelling illuminated that will change the choices I make in my own artistic career. The experience also reminded me that all art, not just theatre, can influence our lives and our work as actors.

Most importantly, I was reminded that, even amidst the freelancing/temping/money-finding aspects of this career, growth as an actor will never cease. An artist on hold is impossible.

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My Team

WRITTEN BY ASSOCIATE COMPANY MEMBER MISCHA IPP

Before I begin this exploration of team, I want to acknowledge Maya Angelou. I write this on her day of passing and her poem "Still I Rise" resonates through my mind. I am truly grateful for what she gave this world.

I have come to understand the profound importance 'my team' has both personally and professionally in my life. I am primarily an actor and producer and the team of people that I surround myself with is what keeps me afloat, raises my excellence and brings me joy. Sometimes I notice acquaintances of mine have friends, family or partners that are dis-empowered, fearful and negative and I wonder how they handle it. It is hard enough being an artist without having to deal with people bringing you down. I couldn't do it without 'my team'; those who help me Rise.

I have surrounded myself with wise, motivated, brave and hilarious people who are my role models and confidants. When I have a day that brings me to tears because I haven't had enough sleep and I feel under-acknowledged, I have multiple people I can reach out to that will listen to me, love me, support me and give me brilliant advice to help me Rise. On a day when I can't see where I will get my next acting role, and I start to doubt my talent and worth, I have people there to remind me who I am, what I'm up to and help me Rise. On a day when I work with artists who have a different style, taste and level of experience to me, and I want to pull my hair out because I feel so unsatisfied by the work being created, 'my team' help me Rise. These same people are my role models when it comes to how they deal with their own challenges. They watch inspiring videos, read motivational articles and books, meditate with Deepak Chopra and participate in personal development courses like Tony Robbins, Landmark Education and The Virtues Project. They share their inspiration with me and those around them. They get knocked down, they take risks, they fail, but they get back up and continue to Rise.

On a more professional note, I started 7 Centaur Productions and Little y Theatre Company with friends/fellow artists and these companies have managed to produce over 15 film projects, 8 plays, won multiple awards and been awarded grants equaling to many thousands of dollars. My partners through past and current projects - Stevie Cruz-Martin, Georgia King, Alexis Davis, Heloise Wilson, Conrad Le Bron and Josh Makinda - became my right leg. I can’t take a step forward without their hard work, mental and emotional support and incredible integrity. I will share a particularly difficult time when 'My Team" became everything. After spending a year collaborating with Georgia King and Alexis Davis devising a play called "Scent Tales", finding a brilliant director to join the team and being accepted to perform the production at The Blue Room Theatre which included a small grant, free theatre space, equipment and marketing support we faced a tragedy. Alexis passed away in a car accident. Alexis had become a dear friend, co-producer, co-writer and co-actor in my life and all of a sudden she was no longer with us. What to do? Do we cancel the show? You can imagine how many people I called on to help me through this time. We decided to do the show in Alexis' name, and promised each other that every production we do from that moment forward would honor her further.

"Scent Tales" went on to have a sell out season, won Best Production at The Blue Room Theatre Awards amongst other award nominations and wins and was awarded a huge grant to tour the show around Western Australia. If I had a partner who was pressuring me to earn more money - for example; or if my parents were insisting I choose another career path; or if my friends were all in regular day jobs and didn't understand what it was to be an artist, it would have been incredibly difficult to get through that period because I needed all the support I could get. I know that you can't choose your family or (sometimes) who you work with, and I believe that it is important to love and respect the people around you regardless of circumstance or opinion; but you can choose your friends and partners. And it is that choice that could be the very key you needed to Rise to your next level of success.

"My team" rejuvenate me and profoundly shape who I am. I do my best to be there for them as much as they are for me, and to be an inspiration in how I deal with challenges, just as they are for me. And with that kind of give and take commitment, I can only imagine we will create a powerful cyclical tornado, going up, up and UP!

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A Challenge

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER DARLENE HOPE

I would like to challenge each of you to do something. As we increase our exposure to technology, we are losing something incredibly valuable. So much of our contents is shaved down to bite sized morsels that we are losing our ability to sustain quiet, focused attention for significant periods of time. Theatre folk have been sensing this for a while now, as audiences have grown bored of sitting still for 2 hours of storytelling. But I think the problem is much, much worse. We are losing the benefit of public gathering altogether. Think about it. Today, I'm going to see Capt America, but movies are now all about bigger and louder ways to shock you...just to hold your attention. Music is more chaotic. Simple melodies are a thing of the past. And the news, wow! You've got 15 different sources of info on the screen, 3 ticker tapes...and it's not like you are watching it anyway. You've got the sound up, while you multi-task in another room.

I sat in church today and was sorely grieved because the pastor kept asking folks to hold still during the sermon. Why are people wandering around during service? Who knows! I doubt even they know! All sorts of beeps and chimes and tones echoed throughout the hall, and the people around me could not stop wiggling and squirming, fidgeting and playing with things. It's very very very sad. We are turning into a populace with the attention span of a toddler.

So here is my challenge. Counter your exposure to this blaring stimuli overexposure by choosing to adopt moments of quiet reflection into your day. Meditate. Just sit in quiet solitude. Check out an old edition of some classic novel from your local library and force yourself to read it. Magazines, newspapers, blogs, and even new books won't do. They are too full of visual stimuli. Old editions are best because the typeface will be different. Even if you sit alone in a room and listen (without visual) to classical music from historical composers. And prayer. Prayer is most effective because it causes you to wait on god and engage faith, focusing your attention on things that you cannot see or hear.

I hope to do this more in life myself. Because what I saw today was scary. If we embrace a stimuli driven world, without regard to discipline, self-control, maturity, reflection, or solace, we will turn into another Roman Empire...burning people upside down, feeding them to lions, boiling them alive in oil all for the entertainment of cheering spectators. We may already be only a step away.

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Issues of Quantity and Quality

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER KIRE TOSEVSKI

New York City actors, especially the young and unestablished in the industry, are incredibly busy people. If we're not prepping, cramming, submitting, sending, spending, responding, and following-up; if we're not listening, attending, promoting, respecting, risking, trusting or diving into; if we're not being seen, seeing, catching up on and marathoning; if we're not sweating and stretching and toning, hoo-ing, and ha-ing - then the fear of not doing becomes overwhelming. And our culture of online sharing doesn't exactly help. A few minutes of scrolling through social media feeds and those other actors you went to school with suddenly become giants of the industry, well on their way to the kind of success you gave up on because you decided to take a moment for yourself.

The demands of such a challenging career inside of a highly competitive marketplace can easily be viewed as ample justification for such a stream of constant activity. But is it really effective for the struggling actor who lacks union membership and formal representation? The pressure to constantly do and be involved in, and say "Yes" to can be incredibly high for those actors seeking some form of commercial success but who are operating without regular access to premium auditions. I'm constantly looking to fill my calendar with as much actor activity as I can, but recently I've grown weary of this approach, one that seems to favor quantity over quality. I'm not denying that quantitative "plant a thousand seeds" approach is useful.. That's what I've been doing. Just like every other actor I know.

This need to perform a constant barrage of actions with the intention of making meaningful contributions to our craft and careers can lead to qualitative oversight. And quality matters. Especially when it comes to the work itself. I'm not talking about whether the writing was good, or the directing was bad, or the production level was high. I simply mean that it stokes the fires of passion for the craft. It nurtures the artist self. It "replenishes the well" as Julia Cameron puts it in her book The Artist's Way. It's a great thing to receive, especially when you're feeling less like an artist and more like a commodity.

So how does one help improve the chances of a quality experience? Simply put, we can't. It's not possible (nor is it advisable) for us to judge what the value of some action or experience will be before deciding to perform it or getting involved. If we did that we would never take a risk, never experience the wonder of witnessing a surprising turn of events. All we can really do is go into things with open hearts and positive attitudes, and with better management of our time lead happier, healthier artistic lives.

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In Defense of "No"

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER CASEY HAYES-DEATS

There is a reason why all toddlers go through a period when “no” is their favorite word. It is a simple, yet powerful, word that allows us to exercise control over our own experiences for the first time. “No, I don’t want to go to bed.” “No, I don’t want to eat my vegetables.” “No, I will not share my toy.” Ironically, as we get older, and arguably have more sense as to what experiences are in our best interest, we forget the affection we once felt for “no.” We become afraid of the word. We feel guilty for using it. We agree to dates we don’t want to go on. We accept responsibilities we aren't interested in having.

As an actor, I think it is especially easy to forget the joy of “no." We face so much rejection on a day-to-day basis that we become desperate for an opportunity to hear and say, “Yes!” This can result in us saying yes to projects that we are not really interested in, or worse, to “opportunities” that take us further away from our goal of being an actor.

Yes, sometimes it is necessary to accept an offer for a non-acting related day -job because you need to pay your rent. And yes, sometimes there is value in accepting a role you are less than thrilled about in order to work with a director or company you admire. Life is full of complicated, hard decisions. But we should never forget that saying no can be just as exciting as saying yes.

“No” is not a negative word. It is a positive word that indicates that we know what we want, and that we have the confidence and dedication to accept nothing less. Every time you say no, you are giving the universe a signal that you want something other than what you have been given. Saying no, is a way of asking for what you really want. So forget the fear and the guilt, embrace your inner toddler, and remember the affection you once felt for “no.”

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You've Got Your Degree! Now What?

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST ASSOCIATE COMPANY MEMBER RYAN TROUT

There is a panic that sets in, shallow as it may start out, the moment that one graduates from College. Sure, the celebrations are festive, the meals are delicious, and the words of encouragement overflow without end in sight, but there is something beneath all of that, at least in my experience, that can only be labeled as Panic. Not the acute form, the one that robs you of logic in a flash, but the chronic kind, that stews beneath all that you do, say, or think. It is ever present, and it can rob your life if you let it.

When I first graduated from NYU Tisch with a degree in theater this past May, that’s exactly what happened. I allowed this panic to rob me of my life and to convince me that I wasn’t a theater artist, that I wasn’t deserving of my degree, and that I would work in retail for the rest of my life. This may all sound hyperbolic, but it was real, and it was how I felt.

My path to battling this Panic, to loving my craft and my calling to it, has been fraught with insecurity and fear. In the 9 months (already?!) since I graduated, I have been presented head on with a challenge that is seemingly innocuous yet terrifying in its inevitability: life outside the boundaries of formal education.

If we’re going to throw out a disclaimer, let it be that most of the time I’m not so great at this. I forget things (including, for a while, the deadline of this post), sleep through my alarm, and miss doctor’s appointments. For a time, it was InsecureRyan’s prime chance to pounce on SecureRyan’s, well, security. I would be unnecessarily harsh on myself and no good would come from that. But wisdom, or at the very least, patience, comes only with time. I may not be very wise or patient as of now, and I may forget this whole “brushing your teeth” thing every once in a while, but I’m trying. I go to auditions, I write when I can, and I cook up a storm. Life is hard postgraduation, there is no denying that. But it’s not insurmountable, and it’s not fate throwing you an evil side eye. It’s life, and it’s rewarding when you least expect it.

So I won’t give up. I won’t back down. And I’ll love myself through it all.

Let the real education begin.

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An Actress Goes to Court

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER EVELYN SPAHR

When I had to go to jury duty, I was not feeling so happy. I walked into the courthouse and was escorted to a holding room. Two hundred chairs filled with people who visibly did NOT want to be there. The Wi-fi sucked. The vending machine was broken. They only had Coke, no Pepsi. Basically the worst thing EVER.

After five hours and a total binge fest on Checkers fries and a burger, I was summoned to go to one of the fifth floor court rooms. I was listening to the judge, but my back kind of hurt, the guy next to me smelled, and a closer view of the attractive attorney's ring finger told me he was married. With that piece of information retrieved, I was ready to leave.

Then, this really weird thing happened. The judge asked the defendant to stand up and greet us. He turned and, directly staring at me, smiled and waved.

Now, I have told this incident to a lot of people. When I tell them that that moment made me want to drop whatever else was going on in my life and serve as a juror on that case, the general response is that I was nuts.

So why did I do it?

First off,  I saw someone scared, embarrassed, and a bit shy. Do those feelings sound familiar? YEAH, they seem familiar to me too! I have them allllll time. They made me extremely aware of his humanity and our interconnectedness. I felt compassion for him and I wanted to help.

Secondly, pride and a sense of duty welled up inside of me. Hundreds of years ago, a group of people believed so deeply in the power of the individual that they made participation in government not only a right for every citizen but also a responsibility. Serving as juror is one of the most ultimate ways of embodying the American Dream.

I eventually was picked (yay!) and I served as Juror Number 5. We found him guilty of the charge. One juror cried. Another needed a beer. Others, including myself, didn't say a word and just left. I say I left because I was busy. To be honest, the whole thing left me with a lot to think about in a very private way.

Before I left though, I returned to the waiting room. My initial apathy had blinded me from noticing  that a huge sculpture hung from the ceiling. It depicted a man on a diving board that was being held down by a semi circle of twelve chairs. I felt bad for the man but I also realized that he was safe as long as those chairs were filled. From that moment on, I promised, that whenever I'm called, I would be there to fill one of those chairs for the sake of a fellow American, and I ask that you consider doing the same. You'll feel better about yourself, pinky swear.

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Triple Threat

WRITTEN BY
THEATRE EAST ASSOCIATE COMPANY MEMBER JAMIE H. JUNG

We’ve all heard this phrase bandied about the entertainment world. It means a performer who is not only a talented actor, but a singer and dancer. Now from my definition I list (1) Actor (2) Singer (3) Dancer in that order because that is how I came to the theatre. I studied Performance at University & acting at Stella Adler. Now that I’m a professional Audition-er, however, I am seeing that there are several overlapping disciplines comprising our commercial industry...and Singing and Dancing are huge. These disciplines are not incidental to theatrical productions either. On any given sweep of Actors Access, Playbill.com, or the AEA website, 80% of auditions require a performer to prepare a song.

Now, what does this mean to the average actor? What it boils down to is the commercialization of “the production.” People spend more money and are more likely to make time in their schedule to see a show that is a spectacle. In short, performances with song & dance (and therefore performers who sing & dance) put asses in seats. America’s impact on the history of theatre is indeed the musical. I believe that this “invention” - along with the quite real invention of film & television - have made stories much more accessible to wider audiences. This displaces the role of the live theatre artist into…you guessed it…musical theatre. Included in that 80% statistic are productions that are perhaps interactive or involve a multi-disciplinary showing with performers singing or moving. Nevertheless, I am taking this observation and putting it back into my unfolding training. I’m going back to the classroom.

Now that phrase “going back to the classroom” can sound dull or even a step (hah, dance pun) in the wrong direction. Can’t you learn to sing and/or dance within auditions? Can’t you informally work on these skills enough so that you book work which will incrementally bring you to a level of talent (acting/singing/dancing) where you need to be? You can be naturally gifted and you can work informally on various skills you must display at the now routine Equity Chorus Call, but you will spin your wheels. If you happen to get cast in a show where your basic abilities as a singer and/or dancer secured you employment, you will not grow significantly as - apart from observing other performers and working on your specific tasks within said production - no one will have the time to spend on or with you. Nor is this truly the appropriate place. Rather than shoehorn this learning into the rehearsal room, take time & money out of your already busy life and attend the right classes and buy the right equipment. I’m actively seeking out Jazz classes as I’ve identified this form of dance as what will supplement my basic training in Ballet. As for singing, I will soon be seeking out private lessons as I do understand the business side of singing (from book learning, experience, and classes taken during the Stella Adler Conservatory) but need to work on belting and some of the more technical aspects of singing which will help make my sound more desirable.

The bottom line is that you are – a performer is – a product. The market and audience have shifted over the years and your ideas about the industry do not necessarily align with the current marketplace. If you are an actor and are not interested in singing or dancing, the theatre is a much smaller place. I feel that those actors tend to be seeking out film & TV work because of this painful truth. I’m quite aware that there have never been enough jobs for the amount of actors out there. But now those “pure acting jobs” are being eaten away by musical theatre. You can still go the route of working in live theatre at a theatre company in large urban areas or small regional houses…but where do you go from there? At some point you have to take the stage at the Guthrie in Into the Woods.

I began this blog by observing disciplines in the commercial theatre. Should one explore Performance Art or Community Theatre (no connotation implied, thank you)...then you have discovered a singular world of community & adventure. Personally I view Theatre East as approaching all fronts which is itself admirable and why many different artists are drawn to this company. I hope to marry my talents & ambitions within this company and there are few companies that would allow an artist such a possibility. Plus (and this is a big plus), the mission of such companies as Theatre East is ideological. If you're in it for more than the money and aren't looking for somewhere to go (you want to perform right here!) then you are all set. Broadway has its place, Hollywood its place. Local Theatre has its place. Maybe you don't want to sing & dance. We all want to make a difference, an impact, a change and if the great tide of commercial theatre is rushing towards open waters...perhaps it is better to dwell on the shore you are you sure you want to make your home.

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Never Say Die

WRITTEN BY THEATRE EAST COMPANY MEMBER MARIANA VILY

"Talent is the ability to accomplish what you started." ~ Pyotr Fomenko

I came into this quote by chance, and liked it immediately. It may seem lackluster compared to many of the other definitions of talent out there, at least at first sight. But the words would stay with me, for two reasons: for one, I'm a perfectionist, meaning I sometimes ask too much of myself. So I was grateful to be relieved of the pressure to do something great, and instead just have to finish what I set out to do.

Which, as we all know, can be no small feat. And this is, perhaps, the main reason the words stood out for me. This year, though very satisfying artistically, did prove a big challenge to me in terms of things outside acting that I absolutely had to deal with. These things (getting an artist visa first, finding a new home later) were, of course, stressful and very time consuming. There were moments when I felt like they were taking over my life. And while quitting didn't occur to me as a possibility, I could see how easily I could allow those things to divert me from what I wanted to be doing. How I could simply stop just by not having the time, or worse, the frame of mind.

In due time, my difficulties took care of themselves, as they always do. But what allowed me to stay on track had more to do with finding inspiration than with eliminating obstacles. It had more to do with accepting my friends' encouragement, with sitting through a lot of screenings and talks with great artists at the New York Film Festival, and with then following through by coming up with a plan, running it by my mentor, getting back into class and finding new artistic projects and collaborators. Which is where I am now.

Being done with the bureaucratic and logistical stuff is allowing me to enjoy all the aspects of acting much more. But I also better appreciate the value of perseverance. It takes a lot to finish anything, including the talent the quote refers to.

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Mother Theatre

Just a few thoughts on Mother's Day on how theatre can be like your mother...

Theatre welcomes you even when no one else does.
Theatre can make you laugh.
Theatre can make you cry.
Theatre will tell you the truth...even when it isn't easy for you to hear.
Theatre wants what's best for you.

How else do upon think theatre is like a mother? Let us know in the comments!

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TEam Work

from Christa Kimlicko Jones, Associate Artistic Director, Director of Programming: 

We have begun the creative discussions. Last week we held our first production meeting for our fall shows NORMALCY and THE JUNGLE BOOK. What’s most exciting about this season is the challenge of discussing two productions at once that need to work together. It is a lot to take on in a short, 3-hour meeting, but because of the team that we have, we all left inspired and ready for the next steps. 

 

First production meetings are so much about coming to the table with initial ideas and problem solving. Everyone has been doing work on their own and the time has come to begin to put it together—to collaborate, to really work as a team. I’m always amazed to see what the various departments have been working on. In many ways it’s the same excitement we, as school children, felt on Show-and-Tell days. It’s a lot of oohs and ahhs. Set, lighting, costumes, sound and music—all these incredible folks gathered in a room presenting their ideas, supporting the director’s vision...and the production manager making sure it all stays within budget. 

 

It was a great beginning, resulting in very workable and exciting ideas. We all left inspired and ready for more! Go TEam! 

 

You can also be a part of the TEam and help make these productions happen.  DONATE TODAY  to Theatre East!

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A Moment of Truth

from Todd Eric Hawkins, Managing Director

This past week I attended a preview of one of the new musicals opening on Broadway this season. It was a Monday night, I wasn’t particularly excited by the star, nor was I really in the mood to sit in the theater. But...I had a ticket so off to the theatre I went.

One of the disadvantages of being “in the business” is that there is a tendency to
be hyper-critical of theatre, especially when you are not in the mood to lose yourself in the story. Admittedly, this was one of those nights. I will not mention the show, because I am sure that my impression of it is completely based on my own psychological state, not on the quality of the show, or the performances. However, even in my disgruntled mood, a single line, in the hands of an incredible actress, pierced through all of the crap that I was carrying around. With just a few words, she was able to deliver that elusive, magical moment of truth: an emotional connection so strong that the audience has no choice but to connect.

At that moment, everything in my otherwise unremarkable, slightly annoying day fell away. For the first time that evening I stopped looking at the lights and the set and wondering how much they cost. I stopped nit-picking every performance and every song. I stopped being an ass.

Of all of the shows I have seen, I can only think of two occasions when a member of the
ensemble delivered, in my opinion, the best performance of the night. I have always heard the adage, “There are no small parts, only small actors.” Both of these performers have proven that statement.

It is rare for actors—especially those in the ensemble—to hear how much their performance affects audience members. I think good work deserves praise, no matter how small the role. So, while I will not mention the show, I would like to thank that actress—in spirit here, and in a letter delivered to the stage door—for reminding me why I am in the theatre.

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The Power of Story

from Judson Jones, Artistic Director

One of the things I love about New York is the subway system. So many walks of life. So many histories. So many geographical, religious, and political backgrounds.  So many different clothing options! So many different faces. I love the shared glances you have with someone when you realize that you’re both eavesdropping on the same conversation and a bit a juicy news just came out. And for the most part, I love the myriad of musical performers (some good…and some not so good) that hop on the subway to play and then pass the hat. And all of this is crammed together in a hole in the ground.

The other day, it was an unusually early morning commute. I was on my way to a set and, as TV shows tend to start shooting at the break of dawn, I was not in the mood to do anything but go over my lines in silence. So of course there’s going to be a baby that’s having a complete and utter breakdown on the train. This child had some lungs and wanted everyone to know that he was not happy! Put on my headphones, but instead of hearing Jeff Buckley, I heard Jeff Buckley being backed up by the crying baby chorus. Ditched the headphones and tried to focus on my script. Then the doors open and I see two guitars and an accordion walk on. I looked up to the ceiling and thought, “Well, my morning just got better.” I was just not in the mood. Then they started playing one of the most beautiful and sad pieces of music I have ever heard. I’m not an expert of Spanish music but it sounded like it was perhaps a traditional folk song. The first thing I noticed was that the child stopped crying almost immediately. He just stared at the musicians, his cheeks still covered in tears. And then I looked across from me and there was an elderly woman mouthing the words, with tears in her eyes. There was such passion and pain in her eyes. I’m not sure what the history of the song is, but to her, it was very personal and it was very deep. I just sat there and watched her, and the child, and the band. And I smiled. Oh, the power of performance.

Today, throughout the world, two holidays are being celebrated by millions. Passover and Easter.  Passover celebrates the great exodus of the Children of Israel from the bonds of slavery in Egypt. And Easter celebrates the resurrection of a messiah. Both of these holidays celebrate the miracle of great change, journeys, and hope. Today people will gather in homes and perform the ritual of the Seder and others will gather in churches and take communion.  And at the heart of both of these rituals are the stories that will be told as they have been for many, many generations.

Theatre, at its core, is just that. Storytelling. Take away the lights, the score, the costumes, the scenery and what are you left with? The story. But the paramount aspect of the storytelling is the communion we share with each other. It is during time when we come together and we don’t just observe, but we partake. And when we leave, we should all be full.

Have a truly wonderful holiday.

Jud